hollywood in style

Before Beyonce gets doused with a bucket of metallic paint, rolled in rhinestone dust, attacked by a pack of wigs and sprayed with the sweat of a thousand Glittery Gays of YouTube, she looks like this.

This morning in Rio de Janeiro, Beyonce slipped on her custom-made “just rolled out of bed” lacefront and greeted her fans on the balcony of her hotel room. And by “custom-made,” I mean Solange was down in the basement teasing and knotting that thing so it could look as natural as possible. Basement Baby gets an A+!

Not good.

Usher’s latest CD was scheduled for release yesterday on Super Bowl Sunday, but it has now been pushed back to March 30!

Jive Records is refusing to release the new album until the singer signs with new management. His former manager AND mother Jonetta Patton are effing done professionally since late November 2009. Says a source:

“She walked away from the project because Usher had his girlfriend [and former Def Jam executive] Grace Miguel all in the mix. She [Jonetta] felt as though if she didn’t end things when she did, it would permanently afec their personal relationship.”

Sounds like Usher’s mama has territorial issues with the other women in his life! Remember how ugly it got with his ex-wife Tameka?!

Usher’s first single from his new album “Papers” hit the radio last September but it peaked at Number 31 on the Billboard Hot 100. Not his best.

Things could be looking up soon though because it’s rumored that he is going to sign with AEG Live CEO Randy Phillips — Usher was at Phillips’ table at Clive Davis‘ pre-Grammy party.

Regardless we still don’t buy that Usher is the next Michael Jackson!

[Image via Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.]

I put off posting these all day because, personally, I prefer a naked Anna Torv and Blake Lively through a telephoto lens over a pack of cougars in bikinis. Fortunately that move paid off because I had time to… …read full story

The marriage of The Real Housewives of Orange’s Tamra Barney and that creepy Simon dude is currently in the gutter right next to Lynne Curtin’s parenting skills and Alexis’ call girl past (I’m convinced she has one). Radar says that right after Simon filed for divorce from Tamra, she ran off to cry on the peen belonging to Eddie Judge. Eddie is Simon’s best friend.

Simon said that when he saw the two holding hands at a club in Las Vegas, he was so devastated that he dropped to his knees ala graceful Vicki. Somebody give Lynne a sippy cup filled with Freixenet, because we’re going to need her to cry Botox tears for Simon. Turns on the tears, Lynne:

After Simon pulled a dramatic queen cunt move by falling to the floor, he confronted his best friend Eddie who kept quiet. Simon went on to say, “I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed — the ultimate betrayal by a pal and my estranged wife. I started to feel weak and feel to my knees. The doorman helped me and by the time I had regained my composure they both left to the other side of the club.”

Tamra confirms that she’s whoring it up with Simon’s best friend, “We are romantically involved, he is a great guy. It was bound to happen that we both would start dating again after he filed for divorce. It was going to happen sooner or later. I don’t know what the future holds with Eddie and only time will tell.”

The only thing I need to know is if this Eddie dude can keep Tamra in the lifestyle to which she used to be accustomed to before Simon’s checking account flat-lined. Tamra deserves to live in the biggest track house on the cul-de-sac, drive a pre-owned BMW and wear the finest rags Off Saks has to offer. On second thought, scratch everything I wrote because I just had a last-minute vision of a barefoot Tamra hunting for empty cans in the dumpster and it brought a twinkle to my soul.

Oh, and can someone tell Lynne she can stop crying for Simon now:

If any more moisture seeps out of her, she’s going to shrivel down into a damn raisin. And how entertaining would it be to watch a drunk raisin? Actually, it would be really entertaining. Cry on, Lynne!

Look at that little cutie pie go!!

Selena Gomez paid mad props to one who came before her, the late, great Selena, by covering her track, Bidi Bidi Bom Bom!, last night at the San Antonio Rodeo!!

Who knew she could speak Spanish????

And do our eyes deceive us?? Is that Nick Jonas watching from the side stage?? Curious, very curious indeed!!

We’d do it for free!

Howard Stern has said that he would replace Simon Cowell on American Idol, but only if they cough up 100 million big ones. Says Stern:

“They’d have to pay me a ton of dough because I already make a ton of dough. Yeah I would do that show for $100 million.”

Stern, referring to the Idol as a “fucking karaoke contest” said that being a judge would be the best job on the planet and he is even rumored to be leaving Sirius XM Radio soon.

BUT $100 million is a lot of money…

And like we said — PEREZ will do it for free! Call us!

[Image via WENN.]

Wow. It must be pretty bad if even the network is saying enough is enough. It’s not like they’re ones to turn down publicity.

The head honchos at MTV are reportedly pulling the plug on the cast of Jersey Shore and all of the club appearances they’ve been making because they’re afraid of overexposure!

WTF??

A source claims:

“MTV has told the ‘Jersey Shore’ crew they can only do two personal appearances a week, and that all of their gigs have to be approved by producers. They’ve threatened the cast that they will be fined if they flout the rules — but some don’t care and are blatantly going ahead to earn as much cash as they possibly can.”

Another source says:

“We have to put in controls to protect the brand. We don’t want them out all over the map at every single bar in the country. They have to get permission from MTV prior to doing a personal appearance — we don’t want one of these kids appearing in a topless bar. Pauly D’s fan base is about 85 percent women between 12 and 21, we have to protect that.”

Oh, goodness, yes. You don’t want to ruin the cast’s squeaky clean image!

Michael Schweiger, who manages the cast with the exception of our beloved Snookerdoodle, says:

“We’re incredibly busy. It’s a hell of a ride right now. This is something like America hasn’t seen before as far as reality TV goes. Rather than let it run like a train out of control, there has to be some rules put in place.”

We don’t think there’s much about the show that would fit the term ‘in control,’ so we think they just want to keep the cast under their lock and key so they don’t bring their business elsewhere! This is not going to end well.

What do U think??? Should the cast of Jersey Shore be allowed to run rampant??

[Image via WENN.]

Good for you! See what happens when you shave off the Captain Caveman beard!

Joaquin Phoenix was seen out grabbing some take-out with a PYT Saturday afternoon in Hollywood.

Just another tiny step to returning to normal!

[Image via National Photo Group.]

This will make house #3 for the Parker-Broderick clan near the Long Island shoreline.

Perhaps its time to look to other places for real estate.

Sources say that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick quietly bought another home on Long Island’s East End, dropping $5.8 million on the humble abode.

The couple is reportedly bringing the whole brood to the new place in June, when Matthew starts filming a new NBC pilot about an author hired to run a Hamptons newspaper.

Snooze! We’ll skip that.

But hey, do you think they bought the third house to be fair to the kids? A beachfront house for each of them for when they grow up?!

That’ll be one hell of a graduation gift!

[Image via WENN.]

Another one? And it even features her shiteous extensions on the cover!

Kate Gosselin is releasing a third book on April 13 entitled I Just Want You to Know: Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith and Family. The book will have prayers, journal excerpts and letters to each of her children.

Kate says of the book:

“Each day the thought crosses my mind that when they get older, my kids are going to look back and think about how they were raised. I know they will have a lot of questions about things that may not make sense because they were raised so unconventionally.

“I don’t want them to grow up and wonder; I want them to know without a shadow of a doubt how much I love them and how much every sacrifice made was worth it for them.”

We’re pretty sure you could write them letters without publicly publishing them for profit.

So why don’t you just admit you want to make another quick buck!

Will U be reading Kate’s latest?